 |
|
Dear Netizen:
Your help is needed.
Fueled by a "moment of clarity," the Internet economy has slipped into a recession. If this trend continues, you might soon lose access to your useless online stores, greeting card sites, inaccurate news sources, poorly designed music sites or insider trading chat groups. Imagine the Internet if Yahoo! had a decent sustainable revenue model or Amazon.com actually was able to ship a complete order.
But you can help the Net regain its respect. We must band together and send the world a loud, clear message that the Net will only survive if we can slowly eliminate the myriad of useless and insulting abuses of the Internet as a communication and business medium.
Complain Online. Make a difference by actually going to a site's feedback form and telling them what you, as a real-world user, find wrong or confusing about their web site.
Laugh at Internet Economy. On April 3, visit an online store that claims to have something in stock that you can buy from a local merchant in your own neighborhood. Try to purchase this item and get it sucessfully shipped within 3-days. Good Luck! When this attempt fails - let the people who run the web site know about it.
The Internet has been around far too long for us to tolerate the terrible mistakes that occur now. There are dotcom CEOs and VCs practically begging you to keep their newly formed cocaine habits alive. Your participation will send a signal to the people who ignore the customer and focus primarily on their once over inflated, now worthless, value of their stock options. Please forward this letter to 10 other people, or as many as you can, and join our crusade to Fuck the Net! and hopefully clog a handful of mail servers along the way. To drive the message home even more, why don't you attach a Visual basic virus to your email. Sincerely, Mickey H. Schlhong P.S. We even have a "Fuck the Net" anthem: The Beatles "Everybody's Got Something to Hide 'Cept for Me and My Monkey". |
